Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Soul Searching...


I guess this topic has long been explored but frankly I still have not derive an answer out of the whole thing.

It has been hmm let me think back..3 years and yes a whole long 3 years.

I am not taking thing easy neither am I overly bother by it. Guess parties involved are pretty much immuned and would rather choose to ignore the issue. Or rather they have long derived a conclusion at their end.

As a child's mum now, sometime I can't help feeling why am I still so bother by this incident.

To be frank,I have thought of bringing up the topic and hopefully things will turn back to plain normal because I know for sure we can never be normal once again.

I dropped the idea as I think it just going to hurt parties again and over times I think I learn to take into consideration of people's feeling too.

I may choose to thrash out the topic back then should time rewind back. At least I live with minimal regrets.

Thinking back I was really upset as I felt as a friend I was not important at all. I felt so ignored and not a trustworthy person. It was important date and I would really love their presence... However the response back then wasn't really something I would readily be able to understand from different point of view.

Any case,what makes me even more upset is I actually received an SMS that she has overlook the joyous occasion due to her busy work schedule... I then realized I would feel much better should she choose not to congrats me at all. :(

It's as good as telling me this is how important I am to them....

Having said all these, I guess each party would have their reasons for reacting in such a way. I wish I have the courage to approach them then again I don't think it's right of me to disturb people's peace and happy life now. What I thought it is good doesn't necessary equate to what others felt too. How I wish I can share this with her.. And it seems like it's going to another regret in my life.

At time I guess some of my actions doesn't really matters... But nevertheless I would like to say issue has passed and everyone have moved on. I should also move on too.

Should you one day realized I have disappeared from your FB, please pardon me as I am struggling with this decision. It simply hurts to see the state we are in now... FB suppose to link and reiginte friendship and not having each other on the list but appears so aloof.

If I have a wish I wish you will see this post and accept my apology for not being able to understand you better back then for the concern you have.

Mind is cleared and thoughts have been pen down... Shall leave the remaining energy for tomorrow battle with DR Lim.